Bald Puerto Rican

So...I was referred to as a "balding Puerto Rican" yesterday by none other than my boss. What the hell! Anyhow, I quickly responded with a f*ck you (for some reason I can say that kind of stuff to her...yes a her), but it got me thinking. What can I really do about this whole balding thing? Lets see what google has to say about my situation.

I searched for "bald man" and among the results I find:

Oh man! I am glad this guy is happy, but this is not looking too good.

Is this the hairstyle that I have to look forward to?

Aw hell! Nothing against Jason Alexander, but I don't see myself as the short, fat comic relief. Maybe just the average height, not-fat comic relief.

There has to be something I can do. Google some more...

http://www.onlyhairloss.com/glh claims that I can simply spray on my "good looking hair."

Use this and presto!

Yeah, ok! I am soooooo sure. I would be better off with a Sharpie. At least that won't wash off as quickly and I can go swimming like in the Hair Club for Men commercial. That hair club...they make it look so easy, and all of a sudden all of the women will be clamoring over your new head of hair and new found confidence. Apparently, this is what they don't tell you:

This is sort of gross. Click at your own risk.

Again...you've been warned.

F*ck that!!

I found a solution that works. Find someone that loves you for who your are, and not how many pieces of hair you have on your head, work out so you can be cool like the Transporter guy and listen to this guy:

"Instead of… Doing a hair replacement, transplant, spray, drugs, wearing a wig, blaming your wife, telling people it's temporary, going to the gym, trying some strange hair loss treatments or expensive hair-loss Solutions or expensive and strange hair treatments, do the cow thing, getting high, seeing a psychologist, doing a headstand, yoga, praying, crying, telling everybody that you are loaded with testosterone, paying for expensive hair-loss products, abusing your pet, doing research, using creams, special shampoos etc...
You can simply shave your head and look better than ever!"

~from http://www.baldlygo.com

Cliff notes:

Shave your head and work out. It will get you all the ladies. It worked for Jason Statham, why shouldn't it work for you.